It is hard for me to breathe. Everything is stuck there. It’s suffocating.
From 021008
I still remember the things we said that night. We were reluctant to tell and were afraid it might go wrong. Not wanting to expect the unexpected. Not ready for rejections. But, we were very thankful we did coz after saying those words we realised we shared a common thing.. And that was Love.
To 171008
We made alot of sacrifices, believed in each other, trust that we can make each other happy. We were ready. We hold hand in hand (with a little smell of cigarettes and peanut butter - if u rmbr..) and was ready to take on any challenge the world gives us.
It was a bumpy journey, there were terrors and sorrows but we stayed on smiling and laughing. Coz we are sure nothing will pull us apart. Then the clouds turned darker then usual. We hold each other tighter, ensuring we are still together. Standing strong..
And Now 121208
Deep in our hearts, we are hurting really bad. Every night I wished it would go away. Hoping it won't affect our relationship (I hope u did). But it took over us. Our hands were slipping. You don't believe anymore and I think trust has gone long time ago. I was unsure what might happen next but wasn't expecting the worse.
You took a step ahead. You let go of my hands knowing it will hurt, but only for a moment. You don't wish to ruin my future or hurt me in any way. Simply, you asked me to move on as if nothing has happened. As if all those days together has no meaning. It is really hard to believe. It is really hard to walk away especially when you really love somebody, when you really care. It tears me up inside, to know that we part. But I still love you and I'll still care. That was the promise I made before you went afar.
Now 17 means nothing anymore. Everything is only memories that will fade away with time. It can't be written in black and white, can't be kept till forever ends. Crying in silence. That's the only thing I can do. At least I know I did my best and fight for us. The tears won't stop rolling. It won't stop showing up.
I can cry suddenly in the middle of my work, when there weren’t you near, not even in my head. I don't understand why. Is it even possible in the first place?
Hold my hands, and never let go..
Let me guide you back to the light
Lets do this together baby,and no, lets not give up halfway
I got you and you got me, thats all that I need
On three we would take that leap together, holding hands
One, two, three....
Sounds familiar??? What does it mean to you that time?? What bout now??
I was scanning through your blog and found this 'ZeeQah, just feel free to say things out. Remember, you might never know what can happen, so why not just take a shot. =)'.. From what have been going on past few months, I realise that was suppose to be the last thing I do. Take a shot. Coz it turned out wrongly.. It turned out real bad.. Accidentally in love?? Maybe that was the cause of it. Or is it butterfly effect?? Also, there is no difference between the 2nd and the 17th.. Both have a sad ending. Not beautifully sad, but frustratingly sad.
Words from your mouth still ring in my ear. And it's scarring my heart every time I hear it. I didn't expect you to say that on the phone just now. Just for your info, I rarely get what I want in life. Coz what I want is usually what my mum doesn't agree on. That is why it means so much to me. That's why it is hard for me to let go. Just like Rock Climbing. You gave me so much hope which in the end turns to nothing. Is this called lasting? If it is then I don't want anything to last. Felt as if the waves had drowned me, pulling me down to the beds of sand.
