Friday, October 31, 2008 ♥
Noorul, im sowie if I ddnt layan u this few times..got a lot on my mind rite now and im just not in the mood to layan anyone.
Tmr is Climb On.. I really wanna go..really..big time !!!! Damn shit I cnt. And its all bcoz of my back. Why the hell must I injured my back? Why? Why now? Im sowie Syafiq..sowie Syahmi..sowie Iffah..coz of me we cnt be gg as a team tmr. It’s all my fault. And Syahmi, ur rite..we totally haf a high chance of winning. 4 of us are totally the best of the best (as juniors). Im really really sowie.. I screwed up big time. I’ve paid for it, got all over excited abt it..and now..*SIGH*
But not surprisingly, I kinda saw this moment’s long time ago. Actually, fm the start, no one actually approves me in Rock Climbing. None of my family members and im not gg to talk bout my aunts, uncles and couz.. They disapprove it more!! There’s just no blessing.. well, it was fun while it lasted.
Thnx Rena, Fatin, Aidil and Syafiq (also names tt are not mention). Thnx for everytink.. thnx for cheering me up aft the tragedy.. I’ll take care of myself tt’s for sure. Anyway, just dnt miss me too much okae.. im really not into gg back to the sports complex..esp u Aidil…no more challenging routes fm me..*SIGH*..no more disturbing me..*SIGH*..and no more bullying u..*SIGH*..
“Once a climber, always a climber” (im gonna rmbr this for the rest of my life!!!)..i noe im gonna climb again.. I noe I will.. I love it too much to let it go..
Dear Aidil,
Don’t worry so much ok bro. I know u can do it. I BELIEVE IN YOU.. And u should start doing that too. If u really want all those things I suggest u put all that as your target, your motivation to do better. Seriously, I know u can do it. U proves everybody wrong the last time bout your attitude. No one believes that u will change and everybody “hates” u for that. But look at u now.. U changed a lot. And that’s because u really want to change. U can do it again. Believe in yourself and have more determination to improve. U has a whole lot of good friends backing u when u falls. Don’t worry. Just do me a favor, don’t stop climbing? U don’t suck.. U just need assurance that people will be there for u, supporting u, cheering for u. And hell yeah, we all will!!! Those 3 yrs of climb shouldn’t be put to a waste. U learn a lot fm there.. Use it wisely. If u believes that it will not happen then yeah it will not happen. Think positive ok. Money wise, well I can’t say much. Everybody is having this issue from what I know. U’ll be able to go through it. I am sure of that. Cherios =]
The dae suck..yeah..i noe.. well, at least there’s sometink to look forward todae.. MY BABY IS COMING HM !!! yay !!!
Hasta La Vista..
listened to the sweet sound @ 1:51 PM
Wednesday, October 29, 2008 ♥
The first update..
Well, I dnt really noe wat to write. There’s a lot of stuff in my mind rite now. A lot has happen. A lot of screw ups in my life. Too much of wat I love.
Last sat, RP has its first ever competition and carnival. I was involved in all tt. Being in the top 5 for the mini-comps, the competition was compulsory for me. After tt, I was supposed to be the route judge for the carnival. Being so careless, I had a huge fell during the competition and landed on my butt. SERIOUSLY WRONG POSITION TO LAND!!! I injured my lower back and was nearly landed in hospital again. When I fell, the only thing tt was on my mind was to lie down. The pain was so…I dnt noe how to explain..it was too much.. I noe I cnt move. Staying still was the only thing I did. If I could, I wanted to pull my back off me. To pull out the unbearable pain. I dnt want to move. The medic came with 2 asst asking me where the pain is. No words came out fm my mouth. I was using everything I haf to cntl the pain. They carry me up to the wheelchair and brought me somewhere. I cried. And was breathless. I was still holding the pain down. At the back of my mind was an imagination of my life without Rock Climbing (I noe tt wasn’t wat I am suppose to think of at tt point but tt was wat I did). Rock Climbing means the world to me. It brings me joy and happiness. It took away my stress and keeps me alive. My heart is aching…..
Yesterdae, mum and dad fought. When ur parents fought, do they curse and swear to each other so tt the other party will die faster? Tt was wat they did ytd..dad wanted to kill himself aft tt..he was trying to get out f hm but my mum and sis blocked him. He went to the kitchen and opened the window. My sis cried out so loud and ran to hug my dad. She was consoling him one way and another. The house was in chaos and it was in the middle of the night. Looking at the situation, I was furious mad. There was an urge tt wanted to just shout out to them to shut up. It was affecting me real bad. Guess wat I did..i went back to my room, change into my jeans, took my hp and house key and went out the house. Yeah, tt’s wat I did. Went up to level 6 and look out to the park up front. I called my SweetPie and was bursting out everything to him. I cried and cried…..
Todae, im writing ALL THIS in my new blog..i dnt really noe the reason why I create this anyway.. haha..
1) Friends kept asking me to make one
2) Bf isn’t here to keep me busy and to entertain me..haiz..
3) Am really really super bored rite now (coz bf not here)
4) Kept changing my diary..so I thought of making something tt will stay intact
5) Bf is unreachable..
6) Im missing my bf too much..
**friends, u bttr thnk my bf when he is back okae..coz looking at the list above, its more lyk bcoz of him this blog was made.. Teehees =] Love you guys!!!
Hasta La Vista..
listened to the sweet sound @ 8:32 PM
